Norcsalordie –red alert!

It all happened one night -  back in Oz

I t was odd sort of night, y’see because

I’d gorn completely off of sex

I was just thinking Fosters! Castlemaine 4X!

Just me , an the night and the lager or twelve

Keeping myself to myself

When in walks this really gorgeous Sheila

And Strewth! my eyes begin to feel  her, I went....

Chorus

Norcsalordie!  Red Alert!

Girls walked in -in a see thru shirt!

Christ almighty! She’s looker!

Get a load of them bazookas!

They’re moving round, and oh my god!

The left one’s just give me the nod!

Well you know me – I mean I play it cool....

She said okay, when I sez – how’re bout  playin’ pool

It was then I noticed her mini skirt

She got down for her shot, and Im thinkin’

 how deliciously pert!

She ‘s got a figure decidedly fuller

And Ooh red knickers – my favourite colour

I realised the beers had gone to me ‘ead

And i’m goin’ Great! I’m on the red! – I’m singing

2^nd Chorus

Norcaslordie! Red Alert!

I love a girl in a see thru shirt

I mean Christ almighty! What a looker!

Get a load of those bazookas!

They’re moving round – and now I think

The right one just gave me a wink!

So before too long we was having a sing

Waltzing Matilda that sort of thing

Men at work, the wild colonial boy

Sheleans on me and sez, you’re my boy

I sez, d’you mind if I feel your bum?

She sez, piss off Shane!  its me, yer Mum!

I sez, I could see the right and left ones were very similar

No wonder the buggers looked familiar!

3^rd chorus

So heres the moral to me tale, if one night you’re supping ale

And suddenly through the door a lady walks, and your eyes go out on stalks -  you go

Norcaslordie! Red Alert!

theres a girl in a see thru shirt

 Christ almighty! What a looker!

Get a load of those bazookas!

And they start to move  – just  think real fast

Enjoy yourself – it may not last!

©words and music  by alan whittle 27/05/2009 15:07